[texhax] needed info

[Aaron Corbet]

*GREETINGS:*


   I suspect I want to join TUG. I have been vaguely aware of your
organization for ages, and may even have an old CD of yours.

   I got my LaTeX package from YandY on the east coast, maybe 16 years ago.
(They are now defunct.) I do have trouble getting WinEDt to work every time
I change computers, or a hard drive crashes. Otherwise it's been a real
workhorse, functioning pretty well. But that's neither here nor there.

    I need an up-to-date version of LaTeX that is compatible with Elsevier
's publishing system. I believe they recommend you specifically. Now here's
where some specifics come in that you might not see that often.

    1) I am not an IT specialist. I am a physicist who is poor enough that
I have to do all my own software composition. So, when you talk to me, you
have to speak slowly and enunciate clearly. I have no CS background at all.
I steer by the seat of my pants.

   2) I happen to be very politically active on the 9/11 issue; I am
therefore quite used to being harassed in all email and website
correspondences, by the assholes hanging on in the Federal Government from
the Cheney/Bush regime. I therefore cannot be connected to the Internet on
my own, work, computer. All Internet correspondence must be done at a
library.

   3) For that, and other asocial reasons, any kind of "shareware" is
categorically out. I need to buy a stand-alone self-contained package from
you. Which I guess you will have to mail to me by USPS. Or perhaps armed
guard. I don't care which.

   4) I am really looking forward to finally obtaining this; for this
reason I am willing to pay you, from my bankcard, any reasonable amount.
You know, that means under millions of dollars or something.

   5) So what do I do next?

*                                    YOURS IN CHRIST,*

*- Dr. Aaron Corbet*
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